I’m all for new ideas in any creative environment, but when I first heard of “WWE Speed,” I thought, “No. I do not have time for any more wrestling.” Now that’s an irresponsible proclamation for a guy who gets a check a couple of times a month to write about pro wrestling, but it’s also the truth: I don’t have any more time to give — no, not even three minutes. However, with a little more thought, I figured, sure, there’s nothing wrong with trying these quick-hitting matches to be broadcasted on X, to showcase some different talents and just give the people something new. But then I heard there would be an actual “WWE Speed Championship,” which Ricochet won by defeating Johnny Gargano late last week. Ok, fine, now you have a champion crowned here in this new effort, so maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’ll be cool.

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But then, said champion shows up Monday night on “Raw” for his King of the Ring Tournament match, the announcers mention him as “WWE Speed Champion,” but he doesn’t even bother wearing the title to the ring? Sooooo … basically, we’re saying it doesn’t matter? Already, it sounds like I made the right move in not even giving this new thing three minutes. But then I hear something along the lines of “WWE Speed, Season 2: coming soon!” and it dawns on me that, perhaps, they’re going to win these titles and, what? Just take them home and throw them on the bookshelf? Sounds quite a bit like Braun Strowman’s weird green “Greatest Royal Rumble” title from a few years back.

If it counts, cool. Make it count. But if we’re doing this stuff just for the hell of it, especially these days when there is already so much pro wrestling to watch, can we just not, please?

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Written by Jon Jordan